I’m Going Crazy!

I haven’t gotten a moment to post recently, Chipotle has been stealing all of my free time with her inanities (waiting on a two-hour line to go to the Harry Potter exhibit in Times Square followed by actually going to the Harry Potter exhibit in Times Square (I thought Times Square couldn’t be any more anxiety-inducing.  I was wrong), then sitting on a couch in the Bloomingdales women’s section for what felt like three days while she shopped for socks or hair ties or ‘something really cute to wear to Dana’s birthday party next week because it’s like pretty much going to be the first warm weekend so I need to get a new spring dress and everyone is going to be there so I just want to have something new to look cute in, you know, because you know that bitch Jessica is definitely gonna be wearing like something really slutty and she’s gonna try and get all the attention so I just thought I’d get something really cute and classy and what did you think of that last one I tried on, no, it was black you dick, ugh, whatever, I should have just come with Sam’ or a purse or something, I all but lost my shit.  I guess that’s love, though! (hand motion pistol to my temple, kaplow)).  But other than that, everything is going great! 

Maybe I’m just hungry.  I get really cranky when I haven’t eaten.  I probably just have low blood sugar or something.  But, like, the other day my friends were all going out for Chinese food, and Chipotle was all like, ‘why can’t you just stay in with me and watch a movie and snuggle, you always hang out with your friends all the time, and why are you even friends with those guys anyways, they’re sooo weird except for Tom, he’s funny.’  I just feel like I’m slowly being drained of any personality or manhood I’ve ever possessed and keep trying to assure myself that I only have to endure a few more days of this insanity and it will all be over soon and hopefully she doesn’t seriously hurt me before then because she’s starting to get a psychotic twinkle in her left eye that concerns me to say the least.  Gotta go, she just walked in the door, I think I’m going to need a bigger hand motion gun…

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