There comes a time in every relationship, no matter how good it is going, that you start to take a look around to see what else is out there. This is a very specific type of wandering eye, one that sizes up what’s available out there, directly comparing the other fish in the sea to your current lover to see which is better.
Well my relationship with Chipotle is no different. And I have been thinking a lot about one of Chipotle’s oldest friends and current enemy, Qdoba. Let me start by saying, in the past I have been with Qdoba, so for Chipotle this is kind of a touchy topic but I am going to throw caution to the wind and tell it like it is. I can also say that I enjoyed the intimate company of both Chipotle and Qdoba’s burritos, tacos and bowls, so this is not an easy comparison. With all that out in the open, let me break down how I feel about the two.
Raw Ingredients: By raw ingredients, I am talking about the individual ingredients that go into each of the suitor-ettes meals. Basically the crucial body parts that make up the food.
Winner: The winner of this category is by far, Chipotle. Once you feel how soft and squishy their black beans are (kind of like a sand bag), and compare that to the slightly under cooked version of the same at Qdoba, there is not many out there who would disagree. Also, the chicken seasoning is not even comparable, Chipotle all the way.
Variety of Tastes & Combinations (Positions): This category rates the overall ability to diversify the eating experience. Which one of the two is more daring during meal time, and which one will stretch past the culture norm and get a little crazy.
Winner: For this category I am going to have to choose Qdoba. Not that having variety for the sake of variety is a good thing (i.e. their terrible cheese dipping sauce) but having some different tastes is definitely a plus, especially when you are trying to stay burrito monogamous. In particular Qdoba’s pesto sauce, that can go on top of any burrito, taco or bowl is incredibly good and really changes the way you look at the meal. I mean, that mexican food lingerie is da bomb’s bomb. Almost for that option alone, Qdoba takes this category.
Servicing Their Man: This category judges how well each takes care of their meal partner. In particular how well they listen to my needs and how close they come to fulfilling them. As well as how quickly they get past the foreplay, to the toppings and on to the cashier.
Winner: Chipotle again takes the “Taco” (terrible I know) in this category. Mainly because back in the day, when I would spend an evening with Qdoba, in order to get my fix I would have to bust out my best wining and dining. For example, I would wait around quietly and patiently while Qdoba talked to all of her other friends, only ever so slowly making my way into Qdoba’s consciousness. Then after G-od knows how long, when it was finally my turn to get what I wanted, she could barely listen well enough to break me off something special enough to satisfy me.
Chipotle on the the other hand, loves the wham – bam – get me to the after meal mint as quickly as possible – maam. And when I say extra veggies, Chipotle is sure to give it to me. Chipotle, Chipotle, Chipotle… three times out load… Chipotle takes this category.
Overall Best Experience: This category choses the best overall meal experience. Who really knocks my socks off behind apartment doors. This is the most important area because it really is the thing that makes me choose one over the other.
Winner: And thankfully, I have to say that Chipotle is the porn star of burritos and is who I would choose as the overall best meal maker. And with that thought, I have no reason to look any other place. Chipotle has got to be the better option for me.
Chipotle and I share something that Qdoba and I could never have, 21 days and 45 straight meals of history. And I am not going to be straying from Chipotle any time soon, or at least for the next 9 days.
Chipotle you have nothing to worry about!